You Wanna Put That Where?

Anal sex is one of those topics that so many want to know more about, but are afraid to ask. Leave it to me to discuss such a taboo topic in such a candid manner.

So you want to have anal sex, but you don’t have the first clue where to begin. Well you haven’t stopped reading yet, so that’s a good start. Congratulations! You have successfully taken your first step to exploring anal sex and to letting go of your taboo. Don't worry you are not a freak or nasty person, the desire to have anal sex is perfectly normal. Granted there are people who will make faces, balk at the idea or think it is just plain gross, but don't let their misguided perceptions sway your desire to give it a try.

Anal sex can be extremely pleasurable due to the superfluity of nerve endings around the sphincter. By stimulating these nerve endings intense pleasure can be generated and felt during anal sex. Nonetheless, anal sex is not something you can jump right into. Preparing yourself for your first anal experience (or first proper anal experience) can take a few days to a few weeks to ready yourself for a dildo or penis.

Here are some steps that will help you work your way up to achieving comfortable and pleasurable anal sex. These steps are set forth to be a guideline that you can follow, in order to make anal sex as enjoyable as possible.

  • Cleanliness:
    It is important to always make sure that you are as clean as possible before you delve into any anal play. If any feces (hereinafter referred to as "poop") makes its way into you vagina, there is a very good chance you will get a UTI (a nasty infection) shortly thereafter. I suggest a warm water (not a chemical) enema about one and a half hours before any anal play. By properly using an enema you will pretty much eliminate the possibility of an encounter with poop. Although highly recommended, an enema is not something you have to do. If you pooped a bit earlier, it is likely you will not have to worry about having a icky exploration encounter. One thing to keep in mind for you squeamish folk, the area that gets penetrated is not generally a holding area for poop.

  • Relaxation:
    As I said in my previous blogs, relaxation is a key factor in success. Not being relaxed can make or break your experience because it doesn’t matter how turned on you are. If you are tense at time of any anal insertion, you are not going to enjoy it as much. Get yourself relaxed by listening to some music, have a glass of wine, taking a hot bath, do some relaxation breathing. Doing any or all of these relaxation techniques before anal play will help relax your body and muscles. An additional and pleasurable option, is to massage the perineum and anal opening with a well lubricated finger or vibrator.

  • Get Aroused:
    Arousal can play a significant role into easing the path for anal sex. Going straight for your ass (hereinafter referred to as the "tush") is never a good idea; foreplay is a necessity before even thinking about anal play. Use foreplay to bring yourself to an orgasm or two, as this will definitely help relax you as well.

  • Lubrication:
    YOU CAN NEVER USE ENOUGH LUBE! Your tush is not like your pussy as it has no natural lubrication, so use an abundant amount of lube. If you are just using a pinkie finger, use lube! If you are just rimming around your hole, use lube! When you think you have enough lube, use more, and then add just a bit more. When it comes to anal play, you can never have enough lube! Did I mention you should use lube?

    Now comes the question. What kind of lube should I use? I recommend, Sliquid Sassy, but any thick water or silicone based lube will do. One benefit of silicone based lube is that it can be revived with a couple drops of water, which can be great if you want to play in the shower or tub. Do not use Vaseline or any petroleum based products and /or any anal desensitizing products. The reason I say no to desensitizers, is because when it comes to anal play, if it hurts you are potentially doing damage to your sphincter or anus and if you are using a desensitizer you may not feel this pain. On the same note, some discomfort during initial penetration isn't uncommon, but if it is a burning or searing pain, stop! Now if you felt some pain, you don't necessarily have to give up, go back to foreplay, get more aroused, have another cum and then try again. .

  • Ease into Penetration:
    Like I previously stated, you can't just shove something in your tush. One of the best ways to start anal play is while you are playing with your pussy or clit, rub around the entrance of your tush with the tip of your well lubricated finger. Not only will it feel absolutely fantastic, it will help relax the outer ring muscle immediately inside your tush. Your first insertion should begin with the tip of your pinkie finger. (Important side note: make certain your nails are trimmed and you have no rough edges or corners or wear a surgical glove, as the inside of your tush is hyper-sensitive and abrades easily.)

  • Want to start thrusting immediately? Don’t! Get yourself used to the feeling of having something inside your tush. As you relax, you can slowly penetrate. Now, do not try and push your entire finger in at once, go slow and gradually insert your finger deeper. Make sure you pay attention to how it feels. If at any time it hurts, withdrawal your finger slowly and start again. Once you have done this a few times with your finger(s), you can begin to work your way up to two fingers, a plug or a thin dildo. One way to keep relaxed while penetrating is to play with your clit. This will help keep your mind off what you are doing to your tush and make you less likely to tense up.

    Now that you have worked your way up to a plug or dildo and are comfortable with the idea of anal sex, you can bring your partner into the play. You can now try for a penis or strap-on. Just keep in mind that the same rules apply here as I mentioned above. Use plenty of lube and go very slow. Have your partner start with the tip, and then gently thrust. This will allow your body to adjust to the length and width that is being inserted. If you are finding entry to be difficult, you can bear down as if to poop. Don't worry, it won't cause any problems as long as you followed my cleaning instructions above, but it will help your sphincter muscles open and be more receptive to insertion. Once they are fully inside of you, ask them to remain still until you get used to the feeling of having a cock or dildo in your tush. When you are ready for them to start thrusting, ask them to start slowly and once you become totally relaxed and stretched, the speed can increase with ease.

    Just another reminder to never put fingers, a toy, or a cock in your pussy if it has been in your tush and try to use a condom whenever engaging in anal play as a condom can easily be replaced with a new one or be taken off before pussy play. Anything that was inserted in your tush that was not protected by a condom must be thoroughly cleaned with soap and water before it can be used inside your pussy.

    I hope that you have found this information to be helpful. Please feel free to comment or to email me with any questions or concerns you may have.


    1. I love this blog! Can I link to it from my blog or my newsletter? This is the #1 question we get asked every weekend at our Bliss Pleasure Parties. Everyone wants to know about anal sex.

      I heard Memo (use to be with Wet) last year do a presentation about how to hav anal sex more comfortably. He explained to everyone at the HPPPA meeting that the "culo" is the equal opportunity hole since everyone has 6,000 nerve endings there! Great blog!

    2. Wow! This is some good info. Definitely gives insight to the idea of anal play.
      well written.


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