The G-Spot... Fact or Fiction?
OK, I know what all of you ladies are thinking. He’s a guy and has no idea what he is talking about. Ladies hear me out I have successfully guided many doubtful women to locate and enjoy their g-spot. If you already know where yours is…. Congratulations! But please read on as you may learn something new and exciting.
You would think that the question “Where is my g-spot?” would be a simple one for an intimacy counselor to answer, but it isn’t. Many doctors and women doubt the g-spot really exits. I on the other hand believe that all women have a g-spot and they just aren’t looking hard enough or in the right area to find it. But I will let you be the judge at the end of this blog and please let me know if it helped you in any way.
First and foremost, you need to be calm, relaxed and have a bit of time to yourself set aside to do some self exploration. Never become fixated on getting over a sexual hurdle ( i.e. g-spot orgasms, multi-orgasms, female ejaculation etc.) I can assure you of one thing, by being fixated on a specific goal, is the best way to NOT enjoy any sort of new sexual experience. Personal sexual exploration is kind of like the bikers creed “It’s about the journey, not the destination"; however the destination may be more exciting in this case.
Breathing is very important for this exercise as it helps calm, relax and stimulate all at the same time. Take slow and steady breaths through your nose and slowly exhale out of your mouth, continue doing this for a few minutes until you feel completely relaxed. Continue on to do something that you know arouses you, as the g-spot is surrounded or sometimes behind spongy tissue that gets engorged as you get more aroused.
I suggest that you lie on your back and place a pillow under your lower back or butt. This position will allow for maximum access to your g-spot area. Begin with inserting a well lubricated index finger into your vagina. After you are about one and a half to two knuckles in, slowly crook (bend) your finger upwards in a come here motion. You should be feeling a ridged or bumpy area on the top of your vagina. Notice that the texture of this area is unlike the smooth walls on the side and bottom of your vagina. Now remember that this area does get engorged as you get more and more aroused, so be sure to explore that ridged area during your different stages of arousal. This will help you get familiar with its shape and sensitivity.
Once you are comfortable and familiar with this area apply gentle pressure to the tip of your crooked finger, as the g-spot responds to pressure. Now slowly slide your finger over the bumpy area until you feel something “tingle” inside. Some women will feel this in the center of this bumpy area other will have to slide the finger a bit deeper to kind of scoop around the pelvic bone. Immediately after the end of the pelvic bone stop and explore. Remember to breath and go slow, focus on the different sensations you feel while doing this.
I feel that the method of using your finger is the best way to locate your g-spot, but if you are a bit squeamish about all this there are plenty of g-spot toys out there to choose from. I would recommend a vibrating, earth friendly one, such as the LELO GIGI available at LELO.COM or any reputable LELO reseller. Apply a comfortable amount of lube to your g-spot toy and insert it with the curved tip pointing up toward the top of your vagina. Insert it slowly into your vagina and press down gently on the base. Just go far enough (no more than a couple of inches) so that you feel the tip is pressing against your g-spot area. Move the toy back and forth slowly to find the spot the creates the most pleasurable sensations for you.
Be sure to experiment with motion and pressure, as some women may find pressure against the g-spot pleasurable and some women may like the feeling of vibrations when a toy is pressing against their g-spot. Experiment and see what feels good for you. Most women’s g-spot responds to firm yet gentle pressure. If you are using a toy don’t pull it out all the way, use short strokes while applying pressure.
If you are using your finger, I recommend starting out with a circular motion followed by a slightly more vigorous back-and-forth motion to get you started. However you may be ready for some vigorous thrusting, so let your body be your guide.
You will know that you are hitting your g-spot when you feel tingly sensations, possibly the urge to pee (this may be a precursor to female ejaculation), and a heightened level of arousal. When you feel the urge to cum slow down a bit and begin to stimulate your clitoris using any of your favorite methods. As you continue with the combined stimulation, you will eventually feel a sensation much like having to pee. I know that this can feel quite disconcerting to some of you at first, and may have stopped you during a previous attempt, but stick with it and let your body take control. I assure you that you will be in for a pleasant surprise. There is a possibility that you may ejaculate, but ejaculation is perfectly normal and is nothing to worry about (see my previous blog).
If you don’t orgasm, I always say “try and try again”. It may take you a few practice sessions before you notice anything. Try changing your position, using a toy if you are using a finger, or tighten and loosen you vaginal muscles may help as well. The g-spot is most hypersensitive when aroused, so you may want to try to continue to stimulate it after you have cum as well for an additional sensation.
Finding your g-spot can be fun, and you never know what you may learn in the process. Don’t go into this expecting a mind-blowing experience. If your exploration is not doing anything for you, try something else that does. Rest assured that there is nothing wrong with you, and what turns you on is unique to you.
Please feel free to comment or offer any suggestions you may have.