What is female ejaculation and how can I “squirt" Part 2
Before anything else, in order to squirt you need to relax. You will need to explain to your partner that you need to focus on yourself to learn this new skill. Don’t’ stress about your partner feeling left out, exploring your body, yourself and learning new things is not a selfish act. Your partner will ultimately benefit too from your newly learned skill of being able to ejaculate.
To begin you need to just lie back and enjoy. I know that this can be hard and that the more aroused you get the more attention you want to give your partners. However for this exercise you simply cannot. You need to lie back, relax and focus on the feelings and learn to completely relax the tense sensations you feel in your vagina during arousal.
If you are worried about being a 'dead lay', explain to your partner beforehand what you are trying to accomplish and assure them it is not that you are not enjoying yourself, but that you need to relax and practice. If you truly feel that this is causing an issue with you and your partner, a dildo (which you can find at VibratorShopping.com) and some alone time will work as well and may even be more beneficial for you.
When you get close to orgasm you may be tempted to tense up, stop, pull away or out, relax and focus on the muscles that have tensed up and relax them. Let your tension just melt away. If you suddenly have an overbearing urge to bear down, allow your body to do it. If you suddenly have an overwhelming urge to pee, go ahead. Trust in the knowledge that it isn't urine.
Here are some tips that will help you learn to relax your muscles.
Sit in a comfortable chair and make yourself as comfortable as possible, don’t wear tight clothes, take off your shoes, and do not cross your legs. Take a deep breath and let it out slowly and repeat. Ultimately what you will be doing, is alternately tensing and relaxing specific groups of muscles. After tension, a muscle will be more relaxed than prior to the tensing. Concentrate on the feel of the muscles, specifically the contrast between tension and relaxation. In time, you will recognize tension in any specific muscle and be able to reduce that tension.
Don't tense muscles other than the specific group at each step. Don't hold your breath, grit your teeth, or squint! Breath slowly and evenly and think only about the tension-relaxation contrast. Each tensing is for 10 seconds; each relaxing is for 10 or 15 seconds. Count "1-1,000, 2-1,000 etc" until you have a feel for the time span. Please note that each step is really two steps; one cycle of tension-relaxation for each set of opposing muscles.
Do the entire sequence once a day if you can, until you feel you are able to control your muscle tensions. Please be careful: If you have problems with pulled muscles, broken bones, or any medical contraindication for physical activities, consult your doctor first.
- Hands: Tense your fists, then relax. Extend your fingers, then relax.
- Biceps and Triceps: Tense your bicep (make a muscle, but shake your hands to make sure that you are not tensing them into a fist); relaxed (drop your arms…really drop them). Tense your triceps (try to bend your arms the wrong way); relaxed (drop them).
- Shoulders; Pull them back (be careful with this one); relax them. Push the shoulders forward (hunch) then relax.
- Neck (lateral): With your shoulders straight and turn your head slowly to the right, as far as you can; then relax. Turn your head slowly to the left, as far as you can; then relax.
- Neck (forward): Dig your chin into your chest; then relax. (Warning: bringing your head back is not recommended as you could break your neck).
- Mouth: The mouth is opened as far as possible then relaxed. The lips are brought together or pursed as tightly as possible then relaxed.
- Tongue (extended and retracted): With your mouth open, extend the tongue as far as possible then relax (let it sit in the bottom of your mouth). Bring your tongue back in your throat as far as possible then relax.
- Tongue (roof and floor): Dig your tongue into the roof of your mouth then relax. Dig your tongue into the bottom of your mouth then relax.
- Eyes: Open them as wide as possible (furrow your brow) then relax. Close your eyes tightly (squint) then relax. Be sure that you completely relax the eyes, forehead, and nose after each of the tensing exercises.
- Breathing:Take as deep a breath as possible and then take a little more; let it out and breathe normally for 15 seconds. Let all the breath in your lungs out and then a little more; inhale and breathe normally for 15 seconds.
- Back: With your shoulders resting on the back of the chair, push your body forward so that your back is arched then relax. (Be very careful with this one, or don't do it at all.)
- Butt: Tense the butt tightly and raise your pelvis slightly off chair then relax. Dig your buttocks into the chair then relax.
- Thighs: Extend legs and raise them about 6 inches off the floor or the foot rest (do not tense your stomach) then relax. Dig your feet (your heels) into the floor or foot rest then relax.
- Stomach: Pull in your stomach as far as possible then relax it completely. Push out your stomach or tense it as if you were preparing for a punch in the gut then relax.
- Calves and Feet: Point your toes (without raising the legs) then relax. Point your feet up as far as possible (beware of cramps if you get them or if you feel them coming on, shake them loose) then relax.
- Toes: With your legs relaxed, dig your toes into the floor then relax. Bend your toes up as far as possible then relax.